Finding myself a little scattered these last few days as I attempt to switch gears from wrapping up the LOPE – Liberty, Obstacle & Pattern Event show, to assisting Mike with his Best Poultry Ever LLC business, to helping FK with FK things :-), to working on my Explore B ME Online program … sprinkled with the thoughts of this and that … this and that needing to be paid for and this and that that needing to be done – it is easy to fall below my “Flow” and start to feel like I am doggie paddling in one spot. Stirring up a bunch of stuff, but getting nowhere.
It is hard to know how to get out of this place of doggie paddling, but when I visualize my walk in life as a mixture of different wavelengths of thought and experiences – it helps me…. It might sound confusing at first, but this is how I visualize it …
My ideal wavelength, or “Flow” is at the top of my picture. It is an even flow of soft waves that have rhythm and fluidity. This ideal Flow is where I am truly meant to be. It is my Source’s (ie God) Flow as well – a Flow specifically tailored by my ideal inner self and my Source specifically for my walk in life. Along this Flow are many incredible opportunities and experiences, just waiting for me to Flow into them.
Now, there are many wavelengths below this ideal Flow as well. They are mine too – and I can choose to ride them – and I often do, because sometimes it is the best I can do. These wavelengths have different patterns, but the commonality is – the lower they go, the more chaotic, disorganized and distorted their patterns become. It becomes quite the rocky road to attempt to flow on them. They have purpose though and every so often when riding a chaotic wavelength, one wave will pitch me so high up that for just a moment in time, I overlap with my ideal Flow. It is like, even the chaotic, less than ideal wavelengths, are still doing their part to help me back to Find my Flow.
I have developed a heightened feel for my Flow while pregnant and I can feel as soon as I start to fall beneath it and that feeling has been trying to creep in on me for the last couple of days. I recognize it by feeling scattered, not knowing what to do, not knowing the best decision to make, not knowing how I will achieve certain things – these are all clues that I have dropped beneath my Flow. In the past I would start trying to ‘fix’ things and ‘work harder’ to try and do more to get myself unstuck – but what I have learned is this ‘working harder’ is not at all effective when I am off my Flow. I must first get back on my Flow so that as I do work harder, I am actually working towards something I need to be working towards. …….. Now thankfully, even the lower versions of my wavelengths eventually attempt to get me back up to my Flow, but it sure is taking the long, hard way to get there if I choose to go that route.
So, the hardest question is how to Find that Flow again…. It helped me to think about a caterpillar last week, this week I am not sure that I’ve discovered my Find the Flow button – but I do know what NOT to do … I know I should NOT worry, or stress, or over analyze ANYTHING at all. Those things pull me further down, away from that Flow. So when those thoughts enter, I will release them to move through me and fly away. I will not take ownership of them, because I do not want to own them in my reality. I will remind myself of my ideal Flow. I will visualize it above me, like a river of my true, ultimate and divinely inspired self. I will remain open to it, not trying hard to jump on board (because I’ve tried that and it does not work) but rather allowing myself to stay open to it, so that the next time it dips down in the never ending steady rhythm of waves, I’ll be ready to slide back in that Flow and ride it up again.
As far as my actions, I’ll be allowing my Mind to move into Explore B ME mode as I re-live the next interaction with Dance, from so long ago, so that I can share it with the Explore B ME online participants and I will be taking time for FK to work on her projects, like her book she has started (oh did I say that out loud? … lots to come on that!) and more practice riding Squirt, as those are the things she has requested for today.
.. and when I re-read that last paragraph I think I may have discovered my button to Find my Flow again for this week – it is right here all around me. It never leaves me, I simply fall beneath it.