It was amazing what happened the moment I made the decision to allow that FEELING to move into me freely.
I invited it in. I felt it. I let it sit. But I did not engage with it. I did not allow my mind to wander to the ‘what ifs’ or anything of the sort. When my mind tried to start ‘thinking’ about what it was I was missing out on, I just guided my thoughts back to the Feeling emotion itself.
As I continued this, it was as if I could hardly find the Feeling anymore. That Feeling I had of missing out on something. It kept disappearing everytime I faced it, so long as I was not conversing with it.
THAT part is certainly the key, not engaging, not conversing with the thoughts. Simply FEELING them. That is exactly what a Wild Mustang does and I can see how it is so effective in aiding their ability to release and move on so quickly. They do not roll things over and over in their brain. They simply FEEL whatever feeling has arrived and when it leaves, they stop feeling it.
The thoughts, assumptions and reasoning we put behind a Feeling are so distorted and entirely fabricated within our limited human perception. We only think we should think a certain thought, when that thought could be a million different thoughts and we could think any of them. We just have a tendency to get stuck on certain ones, from patterning in life, cultural conditioning and our own genetic blueprint of how to navigate life.
For example, my struggle, just last night, was feeling as if I was missing out on something (specifically doing an opening presentation with the Wild Mustangs at an event that is very special to me) and the reason I thought I was missing out on it was because I am pregnant. So my human mind said that this opportunity was missed and that time is passing by.
But this was only one version of many that my mind could choose to interpret from the situation. Granted it was a version that many others might relate to, because the fact is, we are all hard wired quite similar. with the same cultural conditioning and a relatively similar genetic blueprint. Human kind is one massive herd and often we think like sheep, even when we are alone with our thoughts.
Fear of Missed Opportunities because of the passing of TIME.
Now THAT is the concept that should rise above it all. My Feelings of missing out where based on the assumption that Time is running out. For if it was not, if we truly had ALL the Time in the world – then what is there to miss out on? The experience will simply show up again and again and at that moment in Time, I will be in a position to say YES. If this was the case, it would FREE me to soak in the current experience I am having in this moment in TIME. And it is an awesome one. I sit her on the porch, listening to the crickets sing and feel this brilliant new life form wiggling within my womb. My 2 year old daughter is bouncing around on the porch beside me and my oldest is making her handmade snake babies that are due to hatch out of their eggs (recycled easter eggs) this afternoon. I have a pasture full of Mustangs to go play with and learn from and enjoy on this brilliant day. My husband is hanging out cloth diapers on the line to dry – I could go on and on. YES, it is absolutely a WONDERFUL moment in Time right now and it would be AMAZING if I could fully enjoy it without the concern over my missing out on another version of how this moment could appear.
TIME. That is really the culprit of all Fear. And all negative Feelings are, at their root, fear based. Just as all positive Feelings are, at their root, love based.
But what if the what if I described above was not a what if at all? What if Time was not in fact the reality we see it to be? What if it was a fabricated construct designed to enable us to fully experience the full gamut of Feelings throughout our never ending life, even death and birth and birth and death again. What if that is true reality – that we are beyond time. That Time is never running out. That Time is intended to be a GIFT to us, not a source of self limiting beliefs and fear of its demise? What if?
This in fact, is truly what I believe. It is truly what I know. However, my Soul is existing and relating to you (and relating to me), through the lens of my current human vessel. Due to this fact, I am concurrently deeply aware that Time is a fabricated construct offered as the greatest Gift of the human experience. While at the same Time, I am also having the human experience, meaning that, on some levels I must submit to the perception of Time and allow it to isolate moments in my life so that I can individually Feel the individuality of an experience, that is actually not individual at all.
That was my human experience just yesterday, as I Felt the Feeling of missing out on an opportunity. But it was through my willingness to allow those Feelings to be felt, that they moved through me and out of me and created the space for me to share the thoughts that I am sharing now.
As I sit here and type this to you, nothing within me is feeling any remorse over not being about to be a part of the event yesterday in person. And I am not feeling anything but gratitude for this current slice of Time that I am gifted right now. I also feel no guilt for the feelings I shared in the last post and I Feel no judgement coming from my unborn child for me Feeling them. Actually, I Feel divine harmony with the Soul of this child. This Soul is all knowing and not yet limited by the human glasses I squint through in this life. This Soul knows all and sees all and is fully unified with my Soul’s intent to bring authenticity into this amazing world.
I feel deeply blessed by this Soul and deeply blessed by this Gift of TIME to experience this amazing Life through, in all of its versions.